20 Comments
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J. M. Elliott's avatar

I absolutely loved this story the first time around and it's still wonderfully paranoid and chilling on subsequent reads. Unreliable narrators are some of my favs, but they're rarely done well. You nailed it!

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Wow, thank you so much for this compliment!!!

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Benjamin McCoy's avatar

Amazing!

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Thank you so much, Benjamin!

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Benjamin McCoy's avatar

Absolutely. I’m eager to read anything else you may have here

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J. Martain's avatar

Wow. Excellent storytelling with perfect execution. SO good!!!

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

I just woke up and this has just made my day. Thank you so much for your generous comment. 😊

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J. Martain's avatar

Thank you for sharing this story! It stayed with me long after reading.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

A chilling tale, the ending in particular man Claire was paranoid (not gonna blame her), the very concept of androids and such are creepy. In some ways this was creepier than Moon from 2009 I believe it was. Good job.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Goodness! I really, really appreciate your leaving this comment. And now, after researching Moon (which I’d never heard of) I’ve queued it up to watch this evening.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

It is honestly the darkest filme I have ever seen and the saddest. You're sure to enjoy that Sam Rokwell movie, it's his best.

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Frank's avatar

You just slay me Daniel! Swallowed it hook, line and sinker and loved it.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Haha... Glad you enjoyed it!😀

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KyanTan's avatar

I wonder which is the real real, 2178 or 1996.

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Ben Woestenburg's avatar

What a great story and amazing concept. I was not expecting the big reveal. I was totally involved in her world. I always enjoy reading your stuff.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Wow! Thank you, Ben!

It’s nice to get thoughtful feedback like this. Much appreciated.

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Dan Blakely's avatar

Brilliant! I really loved the story and the reveal at the end, but I also felt like the story before the reveal was interesting and had some depth. I was thinking about who was conspiring against her or who she really was - might be interesting to play with that story a bit more (as if her delusions were true).

Thanks for sharing.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Ooooh…I like that idea! I’ll give it some thought. Thank you for the comment, Dan!!!!

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Leigh Parrish's avatar

I enjoyed this story! I thought Claire might just be insane, but I didn't expect the setting reveal at all.

A couple minor things: I might suggest putting breaks between the POV changes. I was a bit confused there for a sec. Also, the beginning was a little info dump heavy for my taste, but this might just be a stylistic difference of taste.

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Daniel W. Davison's avatar

Thank you for the thoughtful response, Leigh! I’ll mull over these suggestions going forward with it.

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